Phases of Friendship and the Importance of Kindness

WARNING: Extreme hippie content ✌️

I have met so many incredible men and women. Some of them I wish I could put in my pocket and keep with me forever. Others, we live our lives and come back together with wild stories to share and it’s like no time has passed at all.

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I have all kinds of friendships. Some people I speak to almost every day. Facebook messenger was one of the greatest inventions ever (cheers Mark). We’ll share little bits about our days, from what we had for lunch to how we’re feeling. Sometimes we’ll discuss what books we are reading or our future plans.

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Some of my friends I only communicate with via photo likes until one day one of us will send a long, heart-felt love note to the other. I’m watching you, I’m thinking of you, I’m proud of you.

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My closest friends of all are my family. When I got a message from my sister asking ‘is this your new thing now? You’re going to link everything back to space?’ I could help but laugh out loud. If your family can’t call you out on your bullshit, who will?

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Some people I have met, bonded, taken drunken selfies and shared toilet cubicles with and then never spoken to again. I see their social media updates and they see mine. We both go about our stories, perhaps occasionally smiling when we think back to the time we shared.

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Then, on rare and magical occasion, I have met some people that I feel are a piece of me. There’s a little collection of souls on this planet that I would do anything for. They bring out all the best parts of me, we raise each other up, we care deeply about the goings on in each other’s lives and minds. We click over things like social conscience, music, nature.

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These are the kind of friends with which I’ll eat healthy snacks or wine and cheese, sit on the beach, try acro yoga, spoon, sing at the top of my lungs, or quite simply, do nothing but lie on the ground and watch the stars.

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These people refresh my soul every time I see them. I feel invigorated and excited after our time together. I’m a total ambivert. It completely depends on the person if I’m going to be sociable or not, but these kids are my tribe.

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There’s no talking time limits, no judgement, but there’s also no crap. They call me out when I’m being unreasonable and I do the same. We help each other understand things from another perspective. We just want each other to be the best person we can be. Everyone in the universe deserves a friend like this, and I really hope you all have one.

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Another thing that I have found a constant through my life is the way my connections will ebb and flow like waves. Sometimes, we get busy. Sometimes, we argue. I have gone months without speaking to best friends. I still consider them so, but I think we all go through so much in our lives and change accordingly. It makes sense that we have different needs from different people at different times. When my life is stressful or I’m struggling I need my lovers, when I’m happy and excited I need my party people, when I’m trying to grow I need my inspirations, when I’m down I just need mi famiglia.

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This is a love note to every single one of you. Regardless of which category you fall in to, know that you are always loved and needed. I carry all of you in my heart. I get lonely very easily, and you guys keep my world spinning. If it’s a little message or a like, a kiss on the cheek or a cuddle, it’s always appreciated. Near or far, that connection isn’t going anywhere. We all meet for a reason.

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I’m so thankful for everything I’ve learned from all of you.

Make sure you listen to what the people around you have to say too. There’s a lot of wisdom to be shared. Despite the way it feels sometimes, you’ve got some people who really love you. Let’s bring out the best in each other.

~

Now, moving in to just that, lets talk about the importance of kindness.

I’ve said this before, but it’s worth repeating because it really is so important to me.

My favourite thing is when I hear people compliment others when they aren’t around. In a world where people are so full of opinions and walls and anger, it’s such a rare and beautiful thing for someone to take a moment to acknowledge how much they enjoy another person.

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I think most of us forget to give compliments. It’s such a simple act that can make someone’s day. Someone once told me they like the way my eyes wrinkle when I smile. It has completely changed the way I feel about myself. I feel warmth when I see photos of myself with eyes shut and grin wide. That’s a happy girl.

Think about your favourite compliment that someone has given you. Close your eyes and remember how you felt in that moment. You probably still feel that way now. Maybe it made you like something about yourself that you had once been self conscious about. Maybe it gave you something new to be proud of.

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I very rarely say things about people that I wouldn’t say to their face, and I definitely never say anything I don’t mean. I don’t want to encourage fake compliments that are only designed to make you feel good for being nice. I want real deal, from the heart, I love you and I love this about you kindness.

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Please don’t ever be that person who says things they don’t mean. It rots your soul.
This kind of love share doesn’t have to be just verbal either.

If you see someone who you know is an affectionate person looking a little out of place, give them a cuddle or a back tickle. Physical affection is the greatest thing in the world and I think a lot of us are missing it.

It’s hard out there for the single people! We might be most content but we all miss a cuddle on occasion.

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In kindness you will meet the friends I was talking about before; the soul brothers and sisters. One of my best friends in the universe was a mean little bastard in high school, but I saw through it. Now he’s one of the most lovely, interesting and fun people I know. Ten years later.

Don’t be scared to look people in the eye and read what they are thinking, not just what they say. Our defensive nature is a big issue, honestly. Don’t be scared to push down people’s walls.

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However, if you’ve found someone whose difficult to see through, good luck to you. I pride myself on my ability to suss people out and those people still throw me! I blame my Slytherin nature, wanting to adapt to everyone around me to better know how to get them on side…

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Just kidding. Honestly, we’re all the same deep down. If someone recoils at your love and affection it’s got a lot more to do with them than you. They’ve probably been burnt and have become that closed off person that you never want to be.

Some people are scared of affection, some declare you are being ‘clingy’ or ‘too much’. Ohhh the amount of times I’ve felt that door slam. Dude. There’s a lot of us out there who can give love without an intense emotional attachment. But you know what? That’s fine. We’re love bubble beings. If they don’t understand that we just want everyone to feel good, and we probably aren’t going to stalk them and boil their rabbit, they can go about their biz without us.

Don’t ever let them upset your self-esteem, okay? They’re just made of different stuff and their ego is perhaps a little too developed… Don’t ever change. One day you’re going to meet someone who fits your jigsaw bits perfectly and will match your love ten times over. That’s why you can’t let life dim your sparkle!

The moral of this story? Love and be loved. Open yourself up, let the good vibes flow. Be kind. Always.

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Harleigh Q

Xo

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